Dry your eyes mate
I know it’s hard to take but her mind has been made up
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
-The Streets, Dry Your Eyes
I’ve just spent a month on the free dating site, Plentyoffish.co.uk. I’m somewhat gutted.
As I have suffered a horrific drought for longer than I care to mention, I thought I’d give internet dating a shot. There is a plethora of women on this particular site- both ends of the extreme and everything in between. Absolutely stunning girls, dog ugly girls, plain Janes, no brains, forget-your-names and gone-insanes. If you want it, it’s on there. Whether or not they’ll respond to your message, of couse, is another issue.
Every woman on the site wants to meet a man, even if they claim they’re “just browsing”- you wouldn’t go through the hassle of uploading a profile and picking a decent picture unless you hoped -deep down- to meet someone ideal. But some just don’t respond to messages. This could just be my own experience: I am on the site because I cannot talk to girls in bars. What would make the net any different? I pull by dancing, not talking. Not only that, I’m painfully superficial- I like girls to be good looking. The good looking girls on the site are bombarded with messages from horny, failing men just like myself- “weirdos”, as most of them put it when I asked them. I tried to be different. I tried to drop my standards and give people chances, but there are some girls I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. Holding it with surgical gloves. Which are fixed into reenforced glass.
I find that if I lead girls on when I shouldn’t, I’ll end up disappointing them one way or another- and I’ll disappoint myself the most. But when I occasionally have met girls off the net, I’ve found that sometimes they look worse in the flesh, and sometimes they look better. That’s why I made a point of being fair to these girls- I messaged them for a bit to see what they’re like. But even though I’m the one giving them a chance, they are stil the ones that eventually stop messaging back.
I even tried switching my listings from “looking for dating” to “looking for a relationship”. I actually would like a relationship, so I’m not being dishonest in any way about that facet, or any other. But it didn’t make a difference. After making that change, in fact, I was told I “looked like a likely lad” by one girl and didn’t get any further. And I was all like, “Look at my ‘looking for’!” Fuck, girls can be hard work.
One thing I’ve learned over the last year or so is that I need to stick to my strengths. That goes for all aspects of my life- in work, with women, with hobbies etc- when you do what you’re good at, you feel better about yourself. So maybe I need to get back onto the dance floor- or even try dance lessons and step my game up a level, perhaps. Whatever it takes. If I stick to my guns, I’ll be reeling them in in no time. Geddit? “reeling them…” never mind.