Here’s what was going on in the world of celebrity on this day- a stark contrast to the banal ridiculousness of Patrick Bateman’s teen life:



ES didn’t say anything in Biology but at lunch AQ came up to me and said “Bateman, ES want’s to snog you at R lockers now.”


The way he said it made it sound really blunt, I would have reacted the same way if he said, “Bateman, ES wants to slam you up against the wall, rip all your clothes off, stick a cigar lighter and a mars bar in your hands, bend over, open her legs and leave the rest up to you.”


Oh yeah,” I said.


She does, honestly! Come on!”


He dragged me down the stairs, me screaming and dragging myself back.


After a while I agreed that I should walk past the window and see what happened. Usually the window looks like this:


I drew a diagram of a window with 2 units of lockers back-to-back, with their far edges against the middle of the window.


Now the lockers have been moved somewhere else on the landing and they have just put a few classroom chairs in a circle.


Anyway, I walked past the window, GH beckoned me in but a millisecond after, the bell went. I tried hand-signalling “I’ll come tomorrow” but it probably looked like “me + you will get together and roll around on the ground.”


I hope she didn’t get it wrong.


Earlier in lunch I briefly kissed CA.


I haven’t posted that questionairre yet- I’ll do it tomorrow. I’ve got the stamp ready and the evelope.


Looking back, I notice I had more potential for success with women than I had realised. Maybe they were all fucking me about. Or maybe they weren’t. CA was a slag, getting attention off as many boys as she could. One time she hung around with me all day and then snogged some other guy infront of me. Weird. She was pretty rough as well.


As for AQ, he was a self obsessed prick. Weird as fuck, childish, insecure and a total bore- right into his late 20s, when- a year ago- I got sick of him and blocked him on Facebook. We don’t have each other’s numbers these days. Thank fuck.


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