I was sexually abused as a 10-year-old: A poem

 

Another NaBloPoMo blog I need to round off

 

This time it’s something I’m not particularly proud of

 

An era of youth that’s not so carefree

 

an uncomfortable truth from 1993

 

a seven year friendship turned bitter and cruel

 

during an afternoon at Saddleworth Pool

 

I look back with feelings of bitterness and venom

 

towards the boy that we will call MM

 

My thoughts like the pool, made of fluidity

 

How could I have acted with such stupidity?

 

The lesson had ended, another begins

 

a changing cubicle the place of his sins

 

I remember the confusion: Did he like me? Did he hate me?

 

As he pressed his prepubescent body against me

 

He knew that I wouldn’t know what to expect

 

and I realise now that in retrospect

 

He might not have known what “special needs” was

 

But he knew I was different and naive ’cause

 

We spent five years in primary school

 

and that’s why he thought that I’d be cool

 

with him touching me with his penis and hands

 

I’m graphic ’cause that’s what this thesis demands

 

If he could do this at the age that he was,

 

As an adult, who knows what he’s capable of?

 

Next year we attended two different schools

 

I didn’t fit in, like an insolent fool,

 

But I stayed in touch with MM like a fool,

 

And he told me he hated his secondary school

 

He was always a strange one, that can’t be denied,

 

and I’ve pushed all those thoughts in my mind to one side

 

But then last week, just out of curiosity

 

I searched on LinkedIn without any animosity

 

He’s a manager now, in charge of a team,

 

He’s MIEP, whatever that means.

 

I wonder sometimes if he ever remembers

 

or feels guilt due to what he did with his member

 

But none of that matters, and strangely, I’m glad

 

‘Cause survivors of rape would not think it so bad

 

I wonder- what made him do such an act?

 

Could it be that MM was abused in his past?

 

Maybe, but I wanted to end off this verse

 

by trying to stop things from becoming worse

 

If ever you notice a child is strange

 

or their knowledge of sex is advanced for their age

 

Don’t wait ’til the signs are too clear to see

 

Report as a crime to the NSPCC.

 

 

 

Image

 

One thought on “I was sexually abused as a 10-year-old: A poem

  1. Pingback: I was surprised he was straight, to be honest. | Patrick Bateman's Blog

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