Porn Addiction Progress

nhs

 

I’ve met with a woman at the NHS with regards to my ridiculous problems with women! Thank fuck! My own GP basically didn’t want to know so in desperation I went to the Samaritans on Oxford Road in Manchester. The guy there suggested that I try my GP- I explained I had done. He suggested I try another GP at the same service.

 

I did just that. GP2 explained that there were services available- possibly in the centre of Manchester- but he’d have to look into it. He’d be in touch as soon as possible.

 

It wasn’t long before I got a letter from NHS mental health services, which was a bit of a shock. I knew I needed help though, so I read on. I was on a waiting list and would be contacted soon. I left it a few weeks but I got no phone call, so I called up to check. They said there was a 6-7 month waiting list. Well, shit.

 

Given there are so many people in my town who are absolute fucknuggets, an eloquent, capable middle-class bloke like myself wouldn’t stand a chance of getting seen by a mental health professional. Because I have the common decency not to be violent, I would have to sit and rot.

 

Or so I thought. A lady called JM called me back a few weeks ago and asked if I still wanted to be on the list. Damn right I did. She asked a few more questions about me and women, and why I’d been forwarded to her. She’s quite understanding and not condescending, which is a refreshing change. She booked me in and I went to see her for the first time this week. We further discussed porn addiction, and underlying lifelong problems with females that I believe led to the addiction. We agreed on a few things:

 

  1. I should masturbate in bed every morning to get it out-of-the-way. No computer or phone for the internet- just my imagination.

  2. She’d speak to her colleague, who is a psycho sexual therapist.

 

I’m trying to do 1)- it means getting up EVEN EARLIER, which doesn’t help my insomnia, but I’ll try. It’s hard, and I still use porn. I’ll see what she says about 2) tomorrow. But the issue here is that I don’t have anything else to stimulate me. I live alone, I work with ageing people, and my mates don’t go out any more as they are ALSO getting old. So it seems to me that I need to do something to meet more women.

 

Like what? I’ve already tried joining social groups- I’ve learned salsa and street dance, I’ve been to many blog meet-ups and writers’ critique groups- none of them have gone anywhere. The only girls I meet I meet in bars and clubs, and nobody does that any more because EVERYONE is broke.

 

So where else? Do I just start approaching women on the street? And why would I be there? Do I lone-wolf it to clubs? I have done, and have occasionally pulled. But more often than not, it’s as isolating and as creepy and as dull as you’d imagine. I’ve done speed dating, internet dating, salsa, street dance, boxing: I’ve met the odd girl through this, but nothing much happened. I only meet girls that are more than friends when I meet them in clubs.

 

What the fuck do I do? Well, that’s what the NHS need to give me a hand with…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s