Psychotherapist JM is helping me with my horrendous problems with women, confidence and porn. I saw her earlier in the week. Here were some bullet points:
Women will not “make you comfortable”. Make yourself comfortable. Don’t wait for her to do it.
We discussed mobile dating app Tinder. I’d used it some months before and had met one girl, but it hadn’t gone anywhere other than meeting on a night out for 5 minutes. I’d sent message after message getting nowhere with many girls. JM’s advice- there’s no point having ambling conversations. Ask them to meet you. Be bold.
Whether on Tinder or not, offer them information about you. Don’t be so mysterious that she doesn’t know anything. Make her comfortable too.
Look for the right kind of person, personality-wise. Stop going for idiots.
My Tinder description was spot on. It described what I do, what I’m into and what I want. It also gave across a fun, sparky, cocky aura.
If you’re not watching porn as much, you need to give yourself pleasure in other ways. Without porn, you can masturbate as much as you want. But as well as that, you need to get endorphins- pleasure chemicals- into your brain through a variety of means. Do things you enjoy. Watch films. Eat food that you like. Go out more.
So how did I do?
Not as well this week. I’ve watched porn 4 out of 7 days, and I’ve been away for some of the week. But hey, I’m seeing JM for an addiction, and that’s what it is.
I’ve been out for drinks with friends, but I haven’t managed to be bold and step forward. I’ve not approached any women. But there aren’t as many good-looking girls around as there used to be.
Tinder has been down! Shit! I’ve been away as mentioned, so haven’t found the time, but when I did check it it wasn’t working! Bollocks!
I’ve tried watching films etc., but I’ve not really given myself much time. I’m too driven on my undisclosed ambitions. And really, what would give me the most pleasure is seeing my friends, which I have actually done this weekend for the first time in ages. I’ve had (omit) an active week though, so it’s been really enjoyable.
I’ve got no meeting tomorrow- another week to wait before I see JM- so I’ll have to fight on with pleasing myself in different ways…