Twin issues

They weren't quite this fit.

They weren’t quite this fit.

Women and phones. The two banes of my existence. Phone decided it wasn’t going to work on Monday so all week I’ve tried to fix it- going into the shop, asking my ever-resourceful dad, looking stuff up online. I left it with my dad to play with. As a result of the malfunction I lost touch with Baa Bar Girl, although not before she came around on Sunday last week.

Good sex. Neither of us reach orgasm though. I try not to get emotional about her: the whole thing is just sex, but her affection when I see her makes me feel so much better. I have a tendency to take her sarcastic tone a bit too seriously though.

And then my phone turned to an inoperable piece of junk.

We don’t really talk during the week, but I couldn’t tell if she had texted me or not. Today the phone appears to work again and I’ve re-imported my contacts. I first saved Baa Bar Girl’s number- when I met her- after I last synced my phone to my computer, though, so her number wasn’t saved on my PC. Eventually I realised I could look on my network provider’s website, and view my account, to see my recent calls. This pinned down her number. I texted her explaining I lost my numbers- this was an hour or so ago- and I’ve not heard back. Oh well.

In short, I should be shagging now, but I’m writing this. I also wanted to mention that 2 twin girls have added me on Facebook. I know them from a few house music nights. One of them has been chatting me up, the other, not so much. I went out to meet Twin 1 in Revolucion De Cuba this weekend, half-begrudgingly as I went to this bar on its opening night and it was a turd cheese-fest. But hey, I had to chase her up. Twin 1, though, was hanging around with some guy, so I talked to twin 2. I had to check it was definitely her. A lot of the time you can tell twins apart by some minor difference if you look closely- these two had stumped me. I had to ask her which one she was, but I’d guessed right- it was the one I hadn’t been Facebooking through the week.

“Twin 1 has been talking to you, hasn’t she?” She sucked her cocktail.


“I was a bit pissed off about that because she knew that I liked you.”


“I got the impression that you both had boyfriends. I’ve seen you in Atlas too, haven’t I?”

We talked a little more then she went to the ladies’ room with her sister. I was stood on my own like a twat, listening to horrendous music.

I realised eventually that the toilets were in a different part of the bar than I’d thought. They’d not gone into the toilets- they’d moved. I looked all over the fucking place looking for these girls. Nowhere to be found. So I left.

Twin 1 Facebooked me not long after I’d left asking me where I was. My enthusiasm had waned by this point, So I went to Milton Club but it was dead so I went home. Saturdays may be a more viable night for Milton, and more honest and trustworthy women might be a more appropriate type to go for.

One thought on “Twin issues

  1. Pingback: A Weekend of Trendy Bars and My Failure to Pull in Them | Patrick Bateman's Blog

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