Check out Nathan Thompson‘s article over on hit-and-miss indie magazine site Vice. Thompson’s article is certainly a hit. It details his life as a PUA, a pickup artist, operating in London trying it on with girls and binning them off after each shag. Or, at least, in the best-case scenarios that’s what he did. The worst was that he was being told to fuck off, something I’d expect were I ever to come out with some of the shit they are taught.
Most PUA training revolves around suggestions made in Neil Strauss’ pickup guide, The Game. I read it maybe three years ago and I thought the majority of it was bullshit. It focuses purely on the idea of having cold, meaningless sex from any girl you meet- not something that every man is after, believe it or not. I’m not, for example. But more importantly, even if you did want casual sex the lines and techniques Strauss suggests are mechanical and facade-like.
The most important part of the book is where he describes how to think positively of yourself- something many people consider to be the only thing of any importance anyway.
If you want a slower, more stable dating situation or a relationship, The Game is a waste of your time. I had more success reading David DeAngelo’s material, over on his site Double Your Dating. In particular, the information he gives about “outer game” (what people around you can see) and “inner game” (what only you know) was the most helpful thing to me. Find Inner Game info here.
DeAngelo asks you to decide whether you want casual sex or whether you might find more enjoyment in a relationship. He reminds you explicitly that “your own enjoyment of life” is the end aim of his teachings. (Compare this to the conclusion in The Game, where the PUAs have been rumbled and nothing works any more, and the female lead falls for Neil, not his alter-ego, and you’ll notice the contrast- and the cheese.)
DeAngelo’s story about being a man- which I read years ago on a now-seemingly-nonexistent site but have found reproduced here reduced me to tears when I first read it.
It wasn’t so much the story but his explanation of it, which is absent from the linked reproduction. In the notes he describes how you need to choose to become a man. You don’t become one when say, you turn 18. Neither do you when you lose your virginity. You CHOOSE to be one, and make decisions like one, and you leave your childhood behind consciously. THAT is what made me a man. It’s no coincidence that I lost my virginity a few months after reading that article.
In The Game, Strauss is quick to Diss DeAngelo (calling him DeAnushole), but after years of reading this combined material I’d say stick with DeAngelo for your dating advice. But, considering I lost my virginity to a hot blonde after DeAngelo’s material wore off on me, I would…