I was surprised he was straight, to be honest.

looking forward

Last year during NaBloPoMo I wrote a poem about sexual abuse.

In it I mention a boy my age- ten or eleven- had touched me inappropriately. I also describe how more recently I’d looked him up on LinkedIn, the sort-of business version of Facebook. This month I thought I’d try Facebook. To my surprise, he’s married to a woman and has three kids. I’m sure as shit not adding him, but his profile is quite open and I can see we have a few mutual friends.

I sometimes wonder what the fuck was going through his mind. Where he got the idea. Whether he feels guilt. Many other questions. But most of all, I think, fuck it. It’s in the past. I sure as shit didn’t like what he did but I’m more traumatised by what females have done and said to me. That’s why I’ve been in and out of the NHS for so long- not because of some weird kid in primary school. But, as Al Pacino once said in Glengarry Glen Ross, “Our life is looking forward or looking back, that’s it. Where is the moment?”

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