On Not Shagging a Beauty Therapist

Fuck’s sake. Spent £20 on a ticket to a dating advice night (yep, you read right) and forgot to go. I had it in my diary but I thought I’d written it in as a “maybe”. Forgot that I’d actually paid for the event online and committed to it.

It was on 4th February. I found the email confirmation in my inbox, and I’d already opened and read it at the time. The reminders were right there. I should have written in my diary that I’d paid, and marked the date I’d paid for it. I do this booking leave: write it in the diary, then write the date that I’d booked it. This stops you being a scatterbrain or flaking out. So fuck knows what it would have been like.

I then went to the private members bar on Thursday where I met a drunk, blonde, large-breasted beauty therapist, MH. She talked to me for ages and asked me to come back to the same bar the following night. We swapped numbers and Facebook details.

Friday: I went back to the same bar and saw MH with her mate LC. I talked to MH for a short while- she went to the toilet and left me with LC for AGES. We swapped cards. MH was hammered, barely comprehensible, and when she came back she hovered with a load of guys in VIP who had their hands all over her. Well. This was a bad do. I told LC, “I like MH but I’m not getting a chance to talk to her. I feel like I’ve done something wrong. Have I?”

LC then launched into a bitter diatribe. Apparently I seem really self absorbed because I’d not offered to buy her a drink. I like to come across as really nonchalant and blasé. Well, I asked. Also, apparently I’m rude for only fancying MH and not LC. I said, “I don’t have to listen to this shit,” and walked out.

I texted MH saying we should leave it there, considering. By the time she got back to me I was already home and asleep and I missed her call. Apparently she “doesn’t pull guys in clubs”. Right.

I looked on Facebook and she’s friends with my best female friend SA. SA explained that MH is a big-time cokehead and a slag. And if SA says she is, she probably is. Shit, I got that impression. And typically, if she’s a slag she’s shagging everyone but me.

Fuck it, I might try again. I’m now pretty much a regular at the members bar so I’ll no doubt bump into her. I might lie low for next week though. I’ve got family shit going on that weekend anyway.

2 thoughts on “On Not Shagging a Beauty Therapist

  1. Pingback: Bumped into MH, made up, pulled someone else | Patrick Bateman's Blog

  2. Pingback: Been out to a few of SL’s events… | Patrick Bateman's Blog

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