Your morning routine to combat porn addiction?

lumie

Because I’m such a chronic insomniac, I need a particular routine in order to go to bed and in order to wake up. My phone alarm is set for 7:30 in the lounge, on the highest volume setting. My DAB alarm is set for 7:15. I wake up to LBC, a talk radio show from London, as DAB music stations are all turd. My Lumie light alarm clock is set to begin illumination at 7:00. This gradually increases in light for the next hour. When the room goes dark again, then I know I’m going to be late.

What does this have to do with porn addiction? Well, a few things.

When I was younger, I’d wake up and crack one out first thing. Before I’d even opened my eyes, I was already having a ham shank. It was the internet that changed all this: an endless supply of new videos every day. The daily wank became an evening thing. Age crept up on me. Insomnia relating to getting nowhere in life became more and more prevalent. I was more tired in the morning even though I was travelling less distance to work and didn’t need to get up as early. I’ve found using my imagination to be harder now that there’s a constant stream of filth available online. Not to mention, I’m more tired.

So what to do now? I can keep trying to wank in the mornings. This is hard, though, as I’m normally shattered. To make matters worse, LBC is the only station I can tolerate listening to now. This involves listening to Nick Ferrari smacking down cocky Muslims crying about being typecast, just because one of their people became the mouthpiece of ISIS and murdered a load of hostages. It means listening to claims that the politicians claiming expenses for things like duck houses are sitting in those green parliamentary seats among people who are also paedophiles.

I can try having a wank the moment I get home, although I’m normally too hungry then, and cooking and wanking rarely gel.

I can try going out during the week to meet people, then wanking over any “targets” (without porn) when I fail to get a shag.

What mind-blowing optimism! What the hell do I do about this?

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