I mentioned last week that crazy woman M thought I might have got her pregnant. I knew damned well that I hadn’t. And she did too. I felt that I had to step up and pay to be responsible- that and to get her off my case. EVERYONE I’ve asked about it has said I shouldn’t have paid. And indeed, how could she have made me? By shooting me, like she claimed she could?!
Fuck’s sake. Do you ever just regret meeting someone? I met her at an event on a Saturday afternoon, an event I almost ducked as I felt the people at the group were too old for me. On the day, M and the other women at the group were making me suspicious. There was something about them that I wasn’t sure about- they were too coarse, too abrupt. Not to me, but in general. I met them again a few nights later and they were still off. Instincts told me to end it, then she turned up the crank-o-meter.
She’s just texted me today saying she’s come on her period. So it’s all over. I’ll only have to deal with her at the member’s bar, so I’m sure as shit not going there unless I’m part of a group. Going on my own was hassle that- thanks to online social groups- I don’t have to do any more.
So I guess I’m going to have to deal with the excruciating pain of using a condom, even though sex is hard enough work as it is. I find the process of opening a condom and applying it to the penis is such a hassle that, during concentration, I lose the moment- and my hardon. What I need is a monogamous relationship where we’re both tested for STIs, she’s on birth control and I stop using porn, which will decrease my dependency on it and increase my sensitivity to physical sex. But who can I get that from in this packed city full of single willing people? Who?!