Woop woop. Been on a waitlist for 7 months- finally met with CK, a psychosexual therapist, to deal with my issues with depression, fear of women and porn addiction. The meeting was miles away and took a couple of hours but it was helpful.
It was mostly me talking to her about my situation, but her questions were investigative and really allowed me to give her the info that she needs. Next up: her helping me to move forward. I’m meeting her again in about 10 days, much closer to home.
The only advice she did give me was to ditch OB and that gang. I described the way they’d treated me- which I’ve mentioned is SHIT– and that I cut myself off from them. So this week I’ve written on Facebook that I’m planning to come off and have a break from the site. This is a bluff. Since then I’ve blocked OB, his group and most of our mutual friends- everyone he introduced me to. It came to about 40 people. I feel better for it. I’ve finally done what other groups of friends, numerous people in the NHS and a few of my colleagues have been suggesting I do, and FUCKED THEM OFF for good. I won’t be picking up the phone, but there’ll be a difficult conversation in Tesco at some point this year whenever I bump into one of them.
Went out this weekend, met loads of girls through nights out with online social groups, failed to pull a single one. My mate LS pulled one of the girls we met; he’s meeting with her. Fuck’s sake. Still behind.