I have the best homework.

rev de cuba

My psychosexual therapist CK has given lots of advice in this week’s session. She’s given me a task, one at which I’ve given a thorough shot this weekend. It was an interesting meeting. Here’s some of her suggestions:

  1. I can get drawn into things, like making bad decisions with friends (being part of OB’s group, for instance). I need to listen to my gut instincts and act on them, something I’ve only started doing in my 30s (to the detriment of prior years).

  2. When the urge to watch porn starts, think about what causes that. Is it lust? Or boredom or loneliness? What are the triggers? (It’s certainly the first and last of those for me.)

  3. When I’m meeting new people, or getting to know people I’ve know a little while, take time to give that info out. Check it’s okay to share information. (Clue, don’t discuss sex in work like an IDIOT. But never mind that.) Are they sharing back? Ask myself if situations are right for me.

  4. Look up Paula Hall who provides information and advice online about sex addiction and porn addiction. Look into her Kickstart Programme.

  5. Instead of using porn, use your imagination. Think of something that I’d like which could be a reality. Something possibly attainable. Basically, when I’m in a club I’ve got to hold on to thoughts about women that I might like and use them during masturbation later. (So, when I got dragged into Revolucion de Cuba on Thursday and I got talking to some girl who was barely 18 and dual heritage and about 5 foot nothing with long dark hair in a white shirt and jeans and a circle of guys around her like hungry sharks, I used that image to bash one out when I got in. Also, I kinda enjoyed it a little bit in there. Not my place at all. Was ready to go before long though.

  6. When things end with a girl, like they did with the girl from the rave,  I’ve got to remember that it’s not about me. (whether that’s true or not, that’s the only way to think.)

I’ve not really watched much porn in the last week. The thought of it makes me a bit sick, to be honest. That is progress. I now need to get out more than one night a week. Stay active. Stay out there, meeting (or at least watching) women in the flesh.

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