I’ve had a night out planned for about 6 weeks. I wanted best mate SW to be there, and she’s studying and working, so I asked her when she would be free. Friday 12th was the soonest she was available. I asked around and around, and loads of people couldn’t make it or said they could only made it for an hour or so. SW is on a low wage, and a few other mates are (permanently) skint, so I wanted to pick an area that was affordable, so the Northern Quarter seemed a good shout.
A few days before the weekend, SW fell ill. SW is ALWAYS ill. I don’t know what is wrong with her. She’s not bluffing to get out of it, that’s for sure. I’m not great at reading people, but I know her better than I know most people. She wanted to come. But she couldn’t, and stayed in bed. She comes down with some illness a few times a year, and I’ve no idea what it is.
This is something I’d NEVER ask her, but it could be genetics. SW is half Pakistani. It could be an inherit weakness on her Pakistani side. It’s not normal to be ill as frequently as she is, and she has no reason to bullshit me. It could be that her Asian family, some way up the tree, had some genetic issues. What else could it be? Well, I guess it’s not my business but I’m entitled to wonder.
So the date for the night out was weeks after I’d first planned it because of her, and then she never came out anyway. Neither did our mutual friend KOC, who had promised to meet up with me after seeing other mates (typically in the inexplicably popular Revolucion De Cuba.)
A couple of weeks ago I had another night out, with SF, another female friend. We agreed to that night, and she invited a load of her mates (most of whom I knew). It occurs to me that we could have made that one a joint party and agreed to invite who we wanted. Of course, virtually no-one I would have invited would have come. But with organisation it would have been slightly better. Granted, SW still wouldn’t have been free, but there may have been a few others who were.
The point is, you can’t wait for people to be ready because inevitably, some people will never be. Just organise the night out, and if people can’t make it, tough. There are other weekends anyway. Just agree to organise something later. Don’t hesitate. Besides, it’s good to stay social regularly, so it’s just another night out. You don’t have to go crazy with drink. But organise quickly. Here’s Arnold Shwarzenegger, from his autobiography Total Recall:
“Don’t overthink. The key thing is to let the mind and body float. And then when you need to make a decision you’re ready with all your energy. The more you know, the more you hesitate.”
So my insistence that SW was there actually hindered me. There have been plenty of other nights out that she couldn’t make, or that she’d planned that I couldn’t make.
A fair crowd did make it out, in all fairness, thanks to the online social groups.