Reading to Fight Porn Addiction

 

I have ambitions. I always wanted to do certain things, things that I can’t go into detail about. In order to do these things, I laid out a load of plans, each one taking maybe a month each. Suffice to say, my career has not taken off and I’m still in the public sector (although for how long, no-one knows given impending job cuts).

Something has got in the way of these plans. It’s porn. It’s still fucking up my life. Part of what drew me into it was loneliness. Part was lust. Part was boredom. I hate to admit it, but I’m bored a lot, and porn fills that gap. I long for the pressure that university put me under (albeit rarely). I miss the college days before it, where I was too busy to do almost anything other than coursework. The constant pressure of deadlines and racing to keep up with everyone else left little time for the dodgy pirate VHS tapes that were doing the rounds.

I’ve been reading a really big book over the last few months (6 months, I now realise. Shit). I’ve been reading much less since the weather started to improve- we had flash floods over New Year, then more snow right through to April. Then my social life returned, and I’ve been out loads and not reading. I’m now coming to the closing pages of this book, and I’ll admit I have no fucking idea what’s going on in it. But anyway, I’ll try and focus on this and read it in bed, meaning I’m away from my phone and the computer, away from porn, and in a place where I can use my imagination for masturbation (this won’t have any relevance to the book, but just saying).

I’m coming to the closing pages of the book so I should be able to finish it by this time next week.

One thought on “Reading to Fight Porn Addiction

  1. Pingback: Failing | Patrick Bateman's Blog

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