Turns out she was so drunk she doesn’t remember doing anything with me, so looks like that’s a dead end.
I was texting a girl I met months ago this week, but we’re both too busy and live too far away and I’m just not really that arsed even though she’s blonde and pretty decent looking.
Whatever. We’re halfway through January. I’ll start putting up events in Feb. I have some great nightlife ideas.
S was a friend of a friend, who came with us to a trendy but desolate bar in a posh part of Manchester. Talked for a while, then I went in for the kiss. Quite proud of myself for stepping forward.
We went to our mutual friend’s flat in town. KS left us an inflatable bed which went down in the night. It was the only thing to go down, unfortunately. KS was pleased that I went for someone natural, who wasn’t ‘plastic.’ S is a little stand-offish though, claiming her ex has left her emotionally unavailable. I tried to convince her that I wasn’t trying to marry her, and that she can’t put her life on hold because of whatever is going on in her mind.
S and I have swapped numbers- I’ll text her tomorrow. Good way to start 2018 if you as me.
I went out for food with a few mates, girls and guys. I told them about KBP and how we slept together without having sex. They all thought it was weird and that she probably felt rejected. I was pretty fucked off that not one of them understood that there’s a pace that I need to work to and shagging people before I feel comfortable with them is a recipe for disaster.
Hence I texted KBP and asked her what she thought. She said she felt awkward, but didn’t want sex so didn’t feel rejected. She wanted to ‘get a bit wild and boozy and smoke a little.’
Hmm. Well, smoking is a deal breaker for me, so fair enough. Also, as ruthless as this sounds, I want someone a bit more glamorous.
So. Square one. Been away this weekend so nothing has happened to say.
That old chestnut. Oh well, she smoked anyway. I feel numb to it really. The thing I’m most annoyed about: I bought earplugs to block out her snoring, and she dumped me before I could use them.
Stress with universal credit has frayed me a little, but it’s under review so there ain’t a lot I can do right now. Finances are a mess though. Running out of money.
Busy week ahead.
Went out for drinks yesterday afternoon, then got a taxi to mine. Agreed that we wouldn’t have sex, just cuddles. She was cool with this. We get on really well and she’s understanding and cool. She’s a good listener and has a good sense of humour.
Typically, I’m expecting something to go wrong. I always do. I hope I don’t freeze up next time, as I’m planning to have sex with her (obviously). She’s calm and understanding. But she snores. So I’m absolutely shattered. Must dig out the earplugs. Hope there’s a next time.
Went to a Northern Quarter bar to meet the lovely KBP and her parents. Her dad, a floppy-haired guy with an undercut and fading sleeve tattoos, loved to dance up and down the bar. Her mum was quite glam, with nice conversation. I thought I made a good impression.
At one point a girl came over to me to chat me up, which only happens, of course, when I’m already with someone. When I told her I was already out with a girl AND her parents, her face dropped. She was mortified. She still gave me a kiss on the cheek though.
Get this though, KBP’s Dad was telling me to go for this same random girl. I told him, “It’s your daughter that I want.” He was like, “Yeah, but you gotta keep your options open…”
Still, I wanna see KBP again. We’ll see.
What is more dull than a discreet diary? One might as well have a discreet soul.
-Henry Shannon, British Conservative politician and diarist
Haven’t seen KBP this week as she’s been working a lot. Tried phoning her, she was busy. Texting a little, so still in touch.
Went out to the celeb haunt on Thursday, even though I’m sick of the place. There are a few girls in there who I really like, but I don’t seem to be able to get anywhere with them. dded to this, my arse was still emitting pungeant fumes, meaning the scheriproct I took didn’t work. I left eventually, and after I did girl mate SF got invited onto the girls’ in question’s table. For fuck’s sake.
I need to start trusting myself more- even though I should have gone and talked to the girls, I just felt weird about it because I feel out of place in that club. I always have. But other places, I feel fine in. So I have been to Spinningfields a little bit, a nicer bar area with gorgeous girls, and the Northern Quarter, the hipsterish area. Did not pull.
Double dropping Sertraline is only helping so much. A general clumsiness and shyness is keeping me back. I am 35.