Went to Liverpool yesterday.

Was busy during the day. Then I wanted to try a strip club. Waited until 10pm. Had been to Rude back in October, which was a disappointment, so figured I’d try one of the other clubs. I hit a bar first, Coyote Ugly, which was a tip and their toilets had no soap. Modo was better. I remember coming here in ‘09. Good to see it still going.

X in the City was nearby, so gave that a whirl. £10 in. I gave them £140 for a 2-girl dance and they didn’t even touch each other. Mugged off. Oh well. Great boobs though.

I still had The Horn. Something must be done. I have a thing for Mixed Race Surgery Girl, one of the dancers at Manchester’s Long Legs, so I checked her insta to see if she was in. She was. I drove in from Liverpool. £10 on door. Got a dance with her and some Eastern European Blonde with reading glasses. Just a £40 dance, not VIP. I’d spent enough bastard money that day. Anyway, the girls put their boobs together in my face at the end. Great stuff. MRSG was asking how I knew she’d be in, as she’d been away. I reminded her of her own Insta update. She encouraged me to get in touch when I was coming in next time.

This is really sad, but it’s the only physical contact I’ve had with a woman, beyond hugging my mum and my platonic girl mates like SW, in months. Kinda difficult to meet people when nobody on Tinder wants to reply and nobody I know can get out to do anything. Best girl mate SW has been out recently but it was always at times that I was busy, like last week. Last night she wasn’t out. Tonight she’s at a wedding. It’s now a bank holiday and nobody I know seems to be doing anything.

Back in March I blogged that I was going to try to each as much Aldi Super 6 veg as possible to lose 6 kilos, to fit into some suit trousers. Sadly, I was 2.2kg off the night before I went to Liverpool. I’m still 1.5kg off now. So, fuck it, I’ve had a curry. I’m going to be a slob for a bit and eat what I want, then I’m going to get back on it again.

I really should leave the strip clubs alone, though.

Let down by a mate, Baby Platinum and Long Legs

A while back, I went to an event where I met a few people. We all swapped numbers and had a Whatsapp chat going. One guy kept in touch with me. We’ll call him Axel. He was out of touch for a few weeks, then popped up asking to do drinks. We met a couple of times, trying this bar and that bar, but the nights out were… okay.

Last night Axel texted asking what I was doing. I suggested suggesting Spinningfields, he suggested 8. I got there a little late, then he straight up told me he didn’t fancy going out. I acted like I was still keeping the conversation going, but I knew I was done with him. Another flaky mate found on an online group. Bullshit.

So that was shit. I decided I’d treat myself to a lap dance after achieving a bit of this and that over the last few weeks. I tried Baby Platinum first, although I deliberated it and walked past a few times. Then the doormen scanned my ID on entry. I think it was £15 cover. They explained there was no contact during the dance, which immediately told me I’d have to walk back out. The girls wanted £235 per girl for a dance, so £470 for a 2-girl dance, without any body contact! Utter bullshit. Their prices are rising faster than a supermarket trip in Caracas. Last time I was in, just under a year ago, they wanted £160 for 2 girls. I’d walked out then.

Last night, at that point, I went to the gents, then walked out saying I had to ‘meet my mate,’ which was also bullshit.

I drove to Long Legs, getting in at 1:30. A sign on the bar explained that all dances were £10 and we should let bar staff know if the girls are charging more. A private VIP dance with one girl would be £80, which was technically what I paid last time. No sign of Mixed Race Surgery Girl tonight. The bar was too cold for girls to be working in when they’re in lingerie. I watched a guy get a dance from across the room, and again, there was no body contact between the customer and the dancer. I left after 20 minutes.

Loads of strip clubs have closed down, and a load more will do if the rules are getting stricter. Not to mention, porn is free and that content is becoming harder. So why would people go to a strip club if they can no longer get tits smashed in their faces?

What I really want to say in this blog post is something quite separate. My mental health has dipped. Practically, life is reasonably good, aside from shady people flaking out on me and having no social life despite living in a massive city. Money is okay for the moment. The house needs the odd thing doing, but it’s reasonably under control. I’m just cripplingly lonely. I can stamp it down and get on with it most days. It’s just a bit tougher at the moment.

House music and dead ends

It was DK’s birthday recently, and he had a party with a load of people from the support group, including RH who I’m pretty sure gossiped about me (and about my share about DK’s incessant mithering) to DK himself. Awkward. I ducked out as I’d double booked, thankfully.

Went to see a DJ with some mates. Got talking to some girl, a stoner who had autism. Dark hair, quite fit. I certainly tried. She was telling me she went off the rails a few years ago and turned into a massive slag, having foursomes etc. Interesting.

Eventually she told me she had a boyfriend. Right.

She gave up social media as she also had a son and didn’t have time for online stuff. I told her it was for the best. So many fallouts are because of social media. I’m the opposite, constantly trying out new platforms as soon as I hear about them. And I have no kids.

Good night, I suppose.

Girls of Instagram: Bylish

Manchester beauty Bylish.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CyvxaVltQLv/

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A Night of Strip Clubs

Last week I managed to go a few days without having a wank. It’s a huge achievement for me. The goal of this was to make a planned strip club visit more enjoyable.

Saturday I went to an event in Liverpool, featuring a lot of cosplay. Think girls in kinky outfits. Some were fit. Then I had a wander around the city, trying a few bars etc.

Strip clubs, in my experience, aren’t busy before 10pm, so I toured a few bars for a bit, watching a bit of UFC (on at a reasonable time, for once) in Beer Engine.

I’ve had my eye on Rude for a while, a newer strip club, and the UK’s largest. I’d noticed Love Island’s Hanna Eliza in some of their promo videos. I’d messaged her account to see if she still danced there but got no reply. I waited til 10 and walked in. £10 entry. The place was dead. There were a handful of girls in there but none floated my boat. A couple approached me (eventually). I asked about Hanna: she used to work there before Love Island. I left after 5 mins.

Then I drove back to Manchester.

Back in April I’d gone to Obsessions on Whitworth St, paid £12 entry, and walked out, not willing to pay £160 for a 2-girl dance.

In more recent months, I’d thought, fuck it, I’ve got money, there were plenty of gorgeous girls that night in April, perhaps I’d shell out. I kept an eye on the Insta page. I’d noticed a Big Natural Tit Arabic Girl (BNTAG) on the page that I’d taken a liking to. I decided to drop in. This time it was £15 on the door. A Curly Brown Haired Girl pitched me. She asked for a dance; I told her I go for a different kind of thing. To her credit, she asked if anyone was my type, and I noticed BNTAG across the room. CBHG brought BNTAG over and we talked about the event I’d been to, comics, movies etc. She was a fan of Studio Ghibli. I showed my age by telling her I’d seen Spirited Away at the cinema when I was at uni. We had a good chat.

Then she asked if I wanted a dance. I told her ages ago I’d got a 2-girl dance there years ago (12, to be exact). Was that something I’d be allowed?

£160 for 15 mins. It was agreed. I picked a big titted brown haired girl to join us, and we went to a booth.

They were both really good looking but they didn’t even touch each other. BNTAG told me that next weekend she’d be working over Halloween, and that there’ll be a lot of kinky outfits being worn. She said she always does well when she puts on the sch**lgirl outfit. Sounds great, but if they aren’t going to touch each other, is it worth the money? I didn’t say this, obviously. They did more than touch last time.

Normally strip clubs play ‘seductive’ hip hop and r’n’b, But that night the music was eclectic, including pop drivel like S-Club’s Reach. Not the most fitting track when you’re getting some (admittedly impressive) boobs shoved in your face.

So yeah, I splurged a lot. Then I went home and had a wank.

Went to a club night in Manchester last night.

Still having mad anxiety. I turned up on my own, hugely overdressed, and tried not to be awkward. Some guy asked me if I was a narc. AD was there, who is now single and still gorgeous. Couple of years older than me but doesn’t look it at all. Chatted for a bit but got nowhere. Same with a couple of others. House music nights are rarely pulling nights, but when I do pull, the girl is usually tapped usually tapped.

As for AD, that boat probably sailed the last time she was single when I didn’t make my move then either. 2012, if I recall.

Best mate SW couldn’t make the club night, but my mate PT and his girlfriend CVB could. Great to catch up with them, and see some amazing music and singers. My anxiety was through the roof, though. Felt like all the prior-lockdown therapy I’d got from the NHS went out the window.

Still, a good night.

Discussion with Support Group Staff

After last week’s email to the support group’s head office, I got a phone call from DR, who used to be a group member but is now an employee at head office. He was really gutted that I’d been put in a position to have to write the email, describing me as a stalwart of the group. I didn’t name DK or RH, nor RD who was supposedly emailing head office himself.

I described people smoking outside the building – DR agreed it was bang out of order and he’ll pass a message on to tell them not to do it.

I described the building being too full and attendee numbers being too high for the location. DR reckons the numbers aren’t that high, and they’ve been higher in that venue. Still, they might use the main space in the building not just the smaller rooms, it just means people going to the toilet and interrupting people etc.

I mentioned that there’s a lot of waffle at the start of the session about planned football matches and this and that – for those of us who just want to get on with the session, it’s not particularly helpful. DR assured me it will be changed.

As for the DK situation – his incessant waffling and badgering me for my time – it’s happening outside of group time, so not something the group can comment on. Not their responsibility. But at least they know.

RD hasn’t emailed head office, DR tells me, although he wouldn’t tell me anyway due to confidentiality.

As for people gossiping about what has been shared in round 3, it’s a breach of the rules. It’ll be fed back to the group, where the facilitators – ironically including DK and RH – will read out the notice to the group… telling them not to reference people’s shares outside of the group.

It’s a clusterfuck. I’m sticking with this other online group for the moment.

Away from the group, I’m feeling really lonely. It’s an emotion that I can’t get away from. I never have been able to. I know, through experience, though, that even if I did meet up with this friend or that friend, that the feeling that something is missing – the hollowness, the inferiority – it wouldn’t go away. It’s not the absence of accessible friends that is the sole issue (although that’s part of it). Going out on my own isn’t particularly helping. Seeing everyone else do what I what to be doing (parts of it, at least) is what hurts.

That said, I’m in my fucking 40s. Do I want to be hanging around in bars? I want a relationship. Is lone wolfing to Manchester on a Saturday helping me? Is it fuck. But what else is there? I don’t want to do anything else.

I’ve just had to bollock DK and RH to the support group

Just had to email the support group’s HQ with my concerns about DK and RH, basically being mouthy pricks and causing a load of problems. Utterly clueless weirdos. It was long overdue. Let’s see what happens there.

RD is emailing something similar, I gather. He’s a good guy that I’d be up for meeting up with. One of a few.

The online group – a different outfit – is going well. I’m meeting with the same people from across the country, a group of about 10, and we’re helping each other out by sharing our stories. There isn’t one tomorrow as it’s a bank holiday (I’m about to head out in a moment) but the straightfowardness of doing something on webcam from the comfort of your own lounge is hugely reassuring.

Depression – loneliness – is kicking my arse at the moment. I have a dual problem in life in that I’m emotionally unfulfilled, yet at the same time I hate people and their general stupidity. So don’t tend to get involved any more. And, of course, a lot of the people I would invite out would be from the support group anyway, many of whom are Tories and anti-vaxxers, i.e. people I’d rather have nothing to do with.

I’m heading to Manchester now to see what’s happening. Better than staying in.

Finally got a dance of Mixed Race Surgery Girl

I tried organising a night out for last night, but nobody could make it, so I sacked it off and went for a lap dance instead.

Back in early June, I’d been to Whisky Down, because I’d had a thing for this Mixed Race Surgery Girl, a stunner with big fake boobs. The prices she’d been asking for were ridiculous, though, so I left it and didn’t go back in. I had, however, given MRSG my eponymous blog card, which makes *this* anonymous blog post a little risky.

I’d planned to just go into Long Legs, which was the only strip club in Manchester that didn’t try to rip me off. It was for the same reason, though: passing a milestone on my eponymous blog a few months ago. Well, same reasons plural: I noticed on Insta that MRSG was working there now. Last time, in May, Perfect Skin Girl had been trying to get me into VIP. I’ve been mulling it over ever since, and accumulating cash should I go for it.

I had a shave, then necked an energy drink on the way down there, which gave me the jitters a bit, with a wad of cash in my back pocket.

I got to Long Legs around midnight. £10 in. No ID needed. I went straight to the bathroom, spotting MRSG across the room. I came out and got a soft drink. A Blonde Scouse Girl approached me, good looking, good boobs. We chatted a little bit, she asked about a dance, I asked for a 2-girl dance. She offered the £40 2-girl, or the £160 VIP. The same VIP deal PSG had been trying to tempt me into. No sign of PSG, but I asked BSG a little more about the £160 dance. 15 mins in VIP upstairs. I agreed to it, and I asked if there was a girl called MRSG. She went to get her. MRSG remembered me, and my name, and that I’d promised to go to the cash machine then never came back.

Awks.

I said I’d been planning to spend a certain amount more than I had done before, but not as much as she’d asked for then. Still, I was about to pay her.

We all went upstairs and MRSG asked about blogging a little bit. We talked a little bit, then the dance started. The VIP room was shared with other customers and other dancers, though, which I thought wasn’t particularly fair. I used to be able to get booth dances – in long-since-closed clubs – where they’d pull a curtain across so it was a bit more private.

There was plenty of arse slapping and boob touching between the girls, and they were eager to tell me that they were bisexual. No boob sucking or kissing between the girls, though. It’s not like the old days any more.

I blame the Tories.

Still, the girls smothered me in their great fake tits.

Then I went home, and… well, you can guess the rest.

Elena has lost her Instagram

I shared a post with a few embedded pics from Elena Blue, stripper at Whisky Down. Absolute stunner. Sadly, her IG has disappeared, possibly suspended, so I figured I’d show you a few from her backup IG and Twitter – sorry, I mean X – account.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cr86P5JN1J2/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvdEYmlN7nK/?img_index=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/Crxt7VjtMwm/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CrnOVLEtZLU/?img_index=1

https://www.instagram.com/p/CriICT6t90a/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CreJGN0txiU/

She says her work days and locations are:

hey guys i know i’ve been very quiet on my OF page as im mostly focusing on dancing atm! if you’re interested in getting a dance from me i work every wednesday- sunday.
wednesday-longlegs
thursdays- whisky down
friday-i pick on the day lol
saturday- longlegs
sunday – WD

— elena blue (@goddesselena118) July 25, 2023