As mentioned last week my GP recommended I double drop antidepressant Sertraline if the night is going to be particularly challenging. I’ve done this three nights in a row this week. I pulled noone.
Thursday: Deansgate Locks was full of pretentious arseholes. I approached a girl who instantly slagged off my ‘trainers’- which were pumps. ZH pulled 3 times, the first time I’ve seen him pull at all. Terrible attitudes from the girls there. There are much better nights out.
Friday: The whole city was dead. Big letdown.
Saturday:Went to Sakana with mate EL. He’s really good with women and is a great wingman. We got talking to loads of girls, as Sakana is a key place for this. I’ve never pulled there but there’s plenty of opportunity. EL reminded me to smile when approaching. A serious face looks intimidating. It’s hard, though, when you’re shitting yourself. I went over to a girl who looked Latina- big tits and arse, lovely curly dark hair. Gorgeous. She was called R, from Failsworth. She was surprised that I approached her as apparently a lot of guys don’t. I admitted I’d been meaning to for a while. I thought the conversation was going well, but when I asked for her number she wouldn’t. I asked if I was too young, even though we were about the same age. She said yeah. Well, I tried.
It really took the wind out of my sails, though, and I just couldn’t get the motivation to talk to anyone else. I had the curse of oneitis. I felt really down about it, and EL was really surprised by this. He had to get up for work anyway, but I just wanted to go. He had work the next day anyway. I walked out and some girl tried to blag me into coming to Revolucion de Cuba with her. I told her I wanted to as she had great tits (she was fine with this comment, thankfully) but I fucking hate Rev de Cuba. She said she was only staying for one so we swapped numbers, but we didn’t meet up. She wasn’t special to look at.
So that’s the weekend. Lots of being blown out. Sertraline helped, but it’s not a magic pill and I tested it hard the last couple of days. I’ve got a few other plans, so hopefully I’ll have better success.
Either respond to my texts and talk to me, or tell me you don’t want to. Whatever. But don’t just give up, FFS. Hard work.
Been out this weekend to Black Dog Ballroom, which has it’s fair share of fit birds but is a bit of a shithole if you ask me. I just don’t like it there. My mate RS was getting impatient with me hesitating with women, even though he never approaches anyone himself. I talked to a few girls but got no-where. I keep planning ideas of things to say, openers, fun things to bring up… and then I forget them all and freeze.
I forgot to mention- my GP recommended double-dropping sertraline if I feel like I need a boost. I wish I had last night, as it wasn’t enough. I think I’ll do that every time I have a night out. I’m out next Friday so let’s see how that goes.
Found a support group that may be helpful, although I can’t tell you what it is. Much better than the one I was at last year. Much more local, less judgemental, and no religious shit. Just men battling depression. Not sure I’m ready to tell them I’m a rabid porn addict just yet.
I have something planned for the Friday, so we’ll see how that goes.
…and stopped texting back. Whatever.
Went sarging with AA on Wednesday night. The whole town was dead. There was no queue outside Birdcage where Voodoo was taking place, and the Locks were equally sparse.
Saw my GP. Asked if my Sertraline prescription was the right dose, as I’m starting to feel that it’s actually helping me. I hadn’t increased my dose, but it takes a certain amount of time for my body to get used to it. So it seems like it’s finally having a positive effect. And to confirm this…
Went out last night with SF. On the way to meet her I got talking to a blonde 21-year-old on Deansgate, called B. She seemed quite interested, but I didn’t fire in. I spent a bit of time with SF catching up with her as I haven’t seen her in a month. After this I headed back to Piccadilly, and bumped into B on Deansgate. She invited me to Deansgate Locks, so of course I came with her and pulled her. She told me she liked older men. I told her I liked younger girls. We got food, then she got a taxi. I was seeing the family today so didn’t try to go home with her. I’ve texted her and she’s not got back to me. But at least something is happening, I’m going out and pulling and enjoying myself. And so the Sertraline continues, as do the nights out…
I went out on Bank Holiday Sunday on my own. Saw a few street fights, that about it. Didn’t go into any bars.
This week I’ve gone sarging with AA and MG. I got some girl’s number in the Arndale after trying to blag her into coming onto the nights out with the online social group. This is a way of practising talking to girls- blagging them into coming on the meetups rather than jut straight up saying ‘you’re fit.’ I was interested in her but if I did this with girls I’m not interested in, I’d relax and have more luck with the ones I am. And the social group would grow a lot, I expect.
I got a text back off this Arndale girl but she didn’t reply to my subsequent message. Whatever. I got somewhere. I’ll text her again tomorrow and maybe send her a link to my eponymous blog.
Somewhere in an office in Manchester
I haven’t planned anything tonight. I’m staying in on a bank holiday as SF is abroad, PM is staying in, a load of mates are down in London and everyone else is broke. I didn’t ask anyone about tonight and no-one seems to be doing anything.
Me and AA have done some more sarging- talking to girls in the street- but I can’t be arsed with girls that I’m not interested in. It’s going to have to be Harvey Nicholls staff and the make-up counter girl in other shops as my targets from now on if we’re doing day game. I’m going to try to get them involved in the events I run rather than just straight up trying it on.
I went to an event on Friday night where a load of difficult people were in attendance, including SM, the closet homosexual that everyone hates. He walked up to me but saw the bitter coldness in my eyes and backed off, nodding. It was like he’s got used to people hating him, but he’s not latched onto why.
Saturday went out again- tried talking to a few people but didn’t get anywhere.
Tonight- no plans. Will have a scout around town in a bit.
Went sarging on Saturday daytime with AA. Got nowhere. I think AA got a number off some Chinese girl. AA and I are looking for a pickup group in Manchester to meet others trying to build confidence with women.
Later on I went to Spinningfields and tried my luck, but again got nowhere. Felt like shit after this. I have the feeling I’ve accidentally ordered a higher dose of Sertraline, as I’ve started to feel the effects a bit more, although I’m not having collating success with confidence. Girl mate CEB said she’s been on it and was told not to drink at all. I remembered, after spending £9 on a Grapefruit and Berry cocktail, that I can’t have grapefruit as it accelerates the rate of the antidepressant’s absorption and can send me mental. So I gave it away.
Got some girl’s number but someone had approached her for me, kinda- well, we dualled the approach on these two girls- a ‘two-set’ as The Game calls it- but she was all like, “But will I text back?”
She did not.
More nights out planned over Easter, so more attempts to pull will be made.
Out of Sertraline again. Picking up new batch tomorrow. No good at planning for these things.
Things have gone well though. Been on 4 nights out this week and on Friday I went to Flirt at Birdcage. Look at this exceptional branding opportunity.
I met a big-titted blonde 19-year-old, not a podium girl, pulled her, took her home and, being a total IDIOT, I fucked her bareback. I didn’t come, predictably, and so far I’m not feeling any side effects. She was a bit of a chav though. She said she was on the pill.
I’ve not spoken to her since I dropped her off, and she’ not been in touch either.
On Saturday I met up with BFF SW and after I’d gone she met up with GR, who I’d taken to the restaurant and who then sacked me off. GR apparently didn’t mention me.
There’s a party coming up in Newcastle this weekend. I’m going on my own as I can’t convince anyone else to book the time off. Interesting. I’ll have met a few people there before but only briefly. Will be a challenge talking to people but my mate MG convinced me to give it a shot. It just means a 260 round trip, after work, which is a bit of a mission. And it’s the kind of thing I struggle with, so will be a challenge.
OH AND, on the issue of struggling, I’ve heard back from ATOS re my PIP mandatory reconsideration. They’ve given me low scores but they can award me for part of what I was getting before. So a celebration is in order. More on this next week possibly.