I’ve worked my balls off at the gym this month, so I wanted to treat myself.

Baby Platinum is a strip club that I thought I’d never got a dance in, so I figured now was a good time to go have a look. It turns out I had in 2015. At that time, I’d paid £80 for a 2-girl dance.

I had been in in 2012 and not got a dance.

Tonight I got into town around midnight with £120 in my pocket. First I had a quick look around: Long Legs wasn’t open, Whisky Down was but it was extortionate last time, so headed over to Chinatown to Platinum.

£20 on the door. ID scanned on entry. I’m normally in favour of this, but it’s a bit daunting when it’s a strip club. Free cloakroom.

I got a pineapple juice. Loads of girls were working, but I appeared to be the only customer, unsurprising as the whole city was pretty dead. I think a lot of people stay local on bank holidays. I got talking to a gorgeous mixed race girl. She wanted £80 for a solo dance, and £160 for a 2-girl dance. Fucking ridiculous. I told her I was going to a cash machine. (I obviously wasn’t.)

The thing is, £160 isn’t that much money in the bigger scheme of things. I’ve grown up having no money, except what my parents gave me. I’ve not missed out on much, but independence has been a slow and vague process, with diagnoses, employment support, DLA, Tax Credits and PIP playing their part. Before this, and before the scheme that I got employed under, when I tried to work, my conditions got me sacked. I was poor until I got on DLA in 2011 or something. Now I’ve actually got 5 figures in an ISA. £160 would not have broken the bank. But what would I have got in return? 4 tits in my face for a few minutes?

Away from my personal situation, let’s discuss the club itself. How are these venues still operating? They’ve got no customers because people don’t have the money for luxuries like this. The country is broke. I can see Platinum going the same way as Silks, Fantasy Bar, Baby Blue, etc. etc. It’s going to go under.

I may do Long Legs again next Saturday.

Meanwhile, while I’m blogging, DK is still mithering, asking what I’m doing at the weekend, etc. If I post that I’m doing something, he’ll ask how that specific thing was. I need to talk to him about opening new social circles. I still give him lifts to the support group, and am increasingly dreading it. I need to discuss with him how different we actually are and how I’m looking to stay social with people who are actually not part of the Mental Health community, not part of any support group, be it ours or any others.