What is more dull than a discreet diary? One might as well have a discreet soul.
-Henry Shannon, British Conservative politician and diarist
Haven’t seen KBP this week as she’s been working a lot. Tried phoning her, she was busy. Texting a little, so still in touch.
Went out to the celeb haunt on Thursday, even though I’m sick of the place. There are a few girls in there who I really like, but I don’t seem to be able to get anywhere with them. dded to this, my arse was still emitting pungeant fumes, meaning the scheriproct I took didn’t work. I left eventually, and after I did girl mate SF got invited onto the girls’ in question’s table. For fuck’s sake.
I need to start trusting myself more- even though I should have gone and talked to the girls, I just felt weird about it because I feel out of place in that club. I always have. But other places, I feel fine in. So I have been to Spinningfields a little bit, a nicer bar area with gorgeous girls, and the Northern Quarter, the hipsterish area. Did not pull.
Double dropping Sertraline is only helping so much. A general clumsiness and shyness is keeping me back. I am 35.
Met up with the lovely and big-titted KPB again this weekend. Good conversation and cocktails around Spinningfields. Got to know her a little more, asked about what she likes in men, rather than what her type is. Things went well and got kisses. Went for pizza at a weird little bar (a dump and full of students and chavs) but the food was great. Or it was because I was drunk and with her.
Met up with mate AA after this but town was dead and rainy. Waited for the first bus. Slept all day ’til I went to a relative’s barbecue. Then went back out for the boxing and UFC (unfortunately on my own). Then after this went to a car boot sale where the only thing I bought was food, then back into Manchester to look around (don’t ask me why, it gets a bit hazy here) then I came home. I know I won’t sleep properly if I go to be to early, and my flat is STILL a tip as I’ve been too busy to tidy it, and I’ve had 2 rest days away from the gym in a row. Terrible.
An example of my anxiety- I text KBP. She replies immediately. I reply quickly with a question. Half an hour goes by. No response. I am already assuming that she thinks I’m a psycho and will now never speak to me again. Admittedly I told her I’d been up all night, but I told her the truth- I was shopping.
Or, maybe she’s having tea with her family.
Whatever. I’ll be doing that with mine in a bit, so until next week…
Ah, finally, a response. All good…
Trying to talk to women but it comes out quite abrupt and maybe a little intimidating. Need to sound more normal and natural. Female friend SF picked up on this. She’s a good mate but any criticism anyone could give me I’ve heard before. Still, walking up to a girl and saying ‘You go to Socialite’ is a bit, woah.
This was while we were in the celeb haunt. (I recognised no-one famous.) Male friend AA came to check the place out. He described being in there, and looking around, as like watching David Attenborough narrating a wildlife documentary, looking at the males stalking the females, observing the courtship rituals.
Like he was a different species. Which is how I feel in there. I don’t feel like it’s my scene, and never have. I think it’s the first time I’ve been on a Saturday since before I started on Sertraline. I’ve had good nights the celeb haunt, but I fit in more around Spinningfields and maybe a few places in the Northern Quarter.
I felt quite awkward and inferior, despite having double dropped antidepressants, and having been on them almost a year. It’s maybe time to stop going to the celebrity places sticking instead with places where the music is more to my taste. Which will annoy SF somewhat, as she loves these places. What made it worse is I queued up for about an hour to get in, and the entry fee was double it was last time I went on a Saturday (about year ago). As per, there was a steady stream of people being booted out for fighting. They’re really just moneyed scallies that populate these places- the people are no different to the clientele of Brannigans 15 years ago. They just dress better.
Update on last week- KBP is in Las Vegas. Hopefully she’ll meet me when she’s back next week.
I pulled some girl in Albert’s Schloss called KBP. I can’t find a blog post mentioning her, so no idea if I’ve told you about her. At the time she told me she wasn’t up for meeting, but I asked her to check out my eponymous blog, where she noticed that I liked house music. She makes house music herself, and sent me a link to her Soundcloud, and we kept chatting intermittently though text and Instagram. So, 10 months later, I finally convince her to let me take her out for a coffee. Jesus Christ. I cannot give my money and time away.
We eventually went for a date in the new Kettle Bell Kitchen over at 1st Street Manchester, this weekend. We caught up on our lives and got to know each other. No kiss, but nice conversation. Maybe too nice. I dunno. We’re still talking, just about.
Away from dating, I’d set up an event to visit a swanky club in Manchester, but nobody was up for it. I was quite disappointed in everyone. I will try again. I can’t help thinking that if female friend and co-organiser SF puts it up, there’ll be more interest. It’s worth trying.
There’s a possible 3 thing happening next week so hopefully it’ll be more exciting.
So that went nowhere. Haven’t been out this weekend as SF was going to see some rapper I’d never heard of, and I didn’t even bother texting around. Keeping busy reading at the mo. It’s suiting me.
I’ve got over flu, been to work and gone out this weekend last night.
I met girl mate SF in a bar, when some random guy phones me with a heavy manc accent asking about a girl I pulled in a club a few weeks ago- I forgot to blog about this.
I got talking to a young girl with HUGE tits called KG, who was only 16 and must have got in with a fake ID. She was gorgeous, as bad as this sounds. A few minutes after pulling her she disappeared. I texted her towards the end of the night asking if she was still in. I got no response so headed home, but on the way to my car she phoned me asking who I was. She’d completely forgotten about me.
The next day I offered my Instagram handle so she could see if she recognised me. She didn’t. It was going nowhere.
So anyway, the phone rang last night- a withheld number- I answer, and this guy is saying that KG, who I pulled, has got facial herpes and she might have given it to me. And she’s 14. I started to smell bullshit. But I also started to think, what if? I hung up on him.
KG texted me a few minutes later saying ‘that was my mate she was only bantering’- it turns out it was a girl. With a deep voice. I asked her if she got in with a fake ID. She did, and told me ‘don’t grass.’ (The club ID’s everyone, meaning the system doesn’t work for shit. If underagers can get in, blacklisted criminals or whoever else can too.) I asked her again how old she was. 16. Not admirable to be pulling someone that young when you’re mid 30s, but not illegal either.
Pulled some girl called A, blonde and pretty decent looking, not amazing, but young. About 19. I approached her. I’ve texted her tonight but I’ve not heard back. What next, I wonder…
Fought through work on Monday, but called in sick Tuesday. Been off since. Will brave it tomorrow. Haven’t achieved a lot. Missed a cool party. Watched a lot of films, read books, ate junk and slept. Next week will be more exciting.