For years now I’ve been part of a support group for men. It’s been brilliant for me: I’ve developed more confidence, I’ve shared trauma, I’ve put things behind me and I’ve moved on from my past. But I feel now that it’s time to, also, move on from this group.
I’ve mentioned in past posts about my dealings with DK, the older, awkward, clueless guy who talks way too much and has no clue when he’s overstepping his boundaries. I’ve mentioned how I’ve discussed him a few times in the support group itself, without identifying him, only for RH, another group member, to figure out who I was talking about and go and gossip to him. That left me feeling like it was time to move on, and that was months ago, November.
I’m still giving lifts to DK and RH, and as the months have gone on, I’ve felt a growing resentment towards both of them. I’m sick of their shit. I’m tired of how excruciatingly boring they are. I’m tired of the sniping comments and the sharing outside the group what has been said inside it, a breach of the rules. I’m tired of DK trying to take liberties, something he’s been doing for years now. He asked me for a ‘huge favour’ a few weeks ago: to drive him and his mrs to Wales. I flat out said no. It’s just a question, he protested. It’s a fucking cheeky question, I told him.
You may be aware that, at the start of the pandemic, Wetherspoons boss Tim Martin binned off his staff and told them to ‘go and work in Tesco.’ What a fucking bellend. He also said there was ‘no evidence’ that COVID was spread in pubs. He was wrong.
I vowed, at that point never to set foot in a Wetherspoons again. I knew that, years later, this would be a sticking point with some people. I didn’t realise how many though.
After the session, we normally gather in a small pub out near Shambles Square. It’s a peaceful, fair-priced place where we can talk. The rest of the group know damn well I won’t go to Wetherspoons, but… This week, that’s where they went. 3 of us went to the Shambles pub to wait for them. Eventually DK messaged me saying they were in Spoons. I called him a traitor and explained the other people were coming to meet him. I walked back to Spoons, told him I was over the road, waited 5 minutes, then told him I was going to the car. They met me at the car.
I was so tempted to fuck off and leave them there, just to teach them a lesson. I’m going to have to share this in the group, and explain to them I’m thinking of leaving. It’ll be interesting, as it will mean DK and RH will be on public transport.
DK messaged me today asking what I was up to. I was busy. I expected him to ask for a favour again, but he was just asking.
There’s another organisation that does a similar thing online, via webcam, and I tried it once during the pandemic. It’s very similar, and with people from across the UK slotted at random into chatrooms. The benefit is, you’re unlikely to meet any of these people face-to-face, so you’re unlikely to have any contact with them outside of the group, unless social media becomes an issue. I might swap for this. Saves me the travel, and the drama.
Patrick Bateman's Blog 